{"id":127,"date":"2019-03-06T13:20:00","date_gmt":"2019-03-06T12:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/relaunch.bebc-coaching.com\/?p=127"},"modified":"2021-01-01T15:32:59","modified_gmt":"2021-01-01T14:32:59","slug":"english-sometimes-it-feels-good-to-be-grumpy-about-not-being-perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bettina-bonkas.com\/en\/english-sometimes-it-feels-good-to-be-grumpy-about-not-being-perfect.html","title":{"rendered":"Sometimes it feels good to be grumpy – about not being perfect"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cat
\nDo you know these moments when you\u2019d like to be not friendly, patient and understanding?<\/span><\/p>\n

Last summer my son and I came to the ferry port in Dover. At the check-in, my German self always comes through – sorry I can\u2019t help it!<\/p>\n

We always feel when we come to Calais or Dover, that we pick the wrong queue, and this time we were proved right. We were waiting in our queue and the cars to our right and left disappeared, one after the other but our queue didn\u2019t seem to be moving, or at a snail\u2019s pace.
\nAs a result we missed the ferry which we easily could have caught, but now we had to wait for about an hour for the next one. I\u2019m not exaggerating when I say that we had had plenty of time and if we\u2019d been in another queue we\u2019d have got onto the ferry as the other cars from the right and left, which I remembered from waiting in the queue, had disappeared.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

When you have such a long drive ahead of you, you\u2019re happy about every hour you come home earlier. The coach & trainer inside me, though, tried to soothe me and admonished me to be more rational by telling me that there were more important things in life and coming home sound and safe were definitely more important. True. But I didn\u2019t want to be understanding and rational; I wanted to nurture my bad mood. So, when I went into a petrol station in Belgium and the guy at the counter wasn\u2019t super friendly, I didn\u2019t bother to be friendly myself. I wasn\u2019t rude but I wasn\u2019t sweet either just a lot more matter of fact and determined.<\/p>\n

On the German motorway later, after two weeks of relaxed driving in England, it took only about 40 minutes when a car behind me showed up, driving really close and trying to push me out of the way. I wasn\u2019t in the mood to be pushed away and I just thought: \u201cF\u2026 off, you\u2019ve chosen the wrong one. I\u2019ve been on the road now for 9 hours and you aren\u2019t pushing me out of the way.\u201d And a bit later a second one tried it again and I thought: \u201cWelcome back to the German motorway, Bettina.\u201d, and I fantasised with my son what we would do to them. I felt good! I also drove pretty fast myself, me who always said that I like the speed limit on British motorways (and I still do!). It felt good to let off steam but I never drove unsafe, let alone risked other people\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n

By the time we arrived home and had a warm welcome from my husband, I felt relaxed. If I had forced myself to be nice and rational, I wouldn\u2019t have been so relaxed after the long drive. I never overstepped any line and I didn\u2019t take it too far, I just was not nice, not sweet and not understanding.<\/p>\n

So often, we do feel pressure to be composed and sweet, even if things are not going our way. We don\u2019t owe strangers smiles and nicey niceness. As long as we\u2019re not rude, who is it hurting?<\/p>\n

I listened to myself<\/u>, to my needs<\/u>, and I allowed myself to be not perfect<\/u> – it felt good<\/b>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you know these moments when you\u2019d like to be not friendly, patient and understanding? Last summer my son and I came to the ferry port in Dover. At the check-in, my German self always comes through – sorry I can\u2019t help it! We always feel when we come to Calais or Dover, that we … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Sometimes it feels good to be grumpy – about not being perfect”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,156],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allgemein","category-coaching-und-resilienz"],"yoast_head":"\nSometimes it feels good to be grumpy - about not being perfect - Be Connected by Bettina Bonkas GmbH<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bettina-bonkas.com\/english-sometimes-it-feels-good-to-be-grumpy-about-not-being-perfect.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"[:en]Sometimes it feels good to be grumpy - about not being perfect[:] - Be Connected by Bettina Bonkas GmbH\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you know these moments when you\u2019d like to be not friendly, patient and understanding? 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