{"id":4540,"date":"2022-05-03T18:18:17","date_gmt":"2022-05-03T16:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bettina-bonkas.com\/?p=4540"},"modified":"2026-03-17T12:44:41","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T11:44:41","slug":"das-ja-und-prinzip-fuer-mehr-gelassenheit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bettina-bonkas.com\/en\/das-ja-und-prinzip-fuer-mehr-gelassenheit.html","title":{"rendered":"The Yes, and principle for finding your composure"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"The<\/p>\n

The Yes, and principle<\/strong> for finding your composure<\/span><\/h4>\n

The Yes, and principle<\/strong> for finding your composure:\u00a0Sometimes life throws challenges our way, we reach our limits, and our lightness gets lost along the way. We might find ourselves stuck in performance mode, just functioning and ticking off tasks.<\/p>\n

As a result, our composure slips away. And when disruptions happen, they don\u2019t fit into our plan \u2013 we\u2019re not amused<\/em>, or even get upset. But life rarely goes exactly as planned.<\/p>\n

Disruptions are part of life. Just think back to the start of the corona crisis: suddenly we were working from home \u2013 maybe even from our child\u2019s bedroom in the beginning \u2013 doing yoga online, and adjusting on the fly.<\/p>\n

Here are two powerful examples of the Yes, and<\/em> principle for finding your composure, which I\u2019ll explain in more detail below: \u201cYes, and I\u2019ll make the best of the situation.\u201d <\/strong>A mindset that\u2019s solution-oriented \u2013 without switching off critical thinking.<\/p>\n

The Yes, and principle \u2013 2 powerful examples (videos)<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

<\/p>\n

Professor Robert Kelly, an expert on South Korea, was being interviewed live by the BBC when his children came crashing in. First his dancing daughter and then her baby brother hot on her heels in his baby walker. Their father managed to ignore the chaos behind him when his wife rushed into the room to remove the agitated children. At first, he seemed a bit stressed but then he took it with humour, like the BBC interviewer.<\/p>\n

The video<\/a> <\/span>went viral and people loved it. Rightly so, it is hilarious and a great example of poise. I\u2019m sure that the situation wasn\u2019t easy for Professor Kelly and presumably he used the \u201cYes, and principle\u201d rather unconsciously.<\/p>\n

Another example for composure is a\u00a0 Professor from Israel. He was giving a lecture when the baby of a student began to cry. The mother was preparing to leave with her child when Professor Engelberg picked up the baby and continued on with his lecture, holding the baby: Video<\/span> <\/a><\/span>\u2013 Very powerful!<\/p>\n

Composure at the push of a button? Sorry, that\u2019s unrealistic<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

Again and again, in situations we can\u2019t change, we often lack the laid-back behaviour we would wish for. E.g. in online meetings, the technique isn\u2019t working. Thoughts like: \u201cI could do more important things in the meantime!\u201d<\/em> or even \u201cThat sucks!\u201d<\/em> are coming up.<\/p>\n

Or, that\u2019s now a very German thing: a long queue in front of a checkout. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it, the other checkout is quicker than mine. And now they even page a colleague to come over. So annoying!! I have more important things to do<\/em>!\u201d Or Your child rushing for the loo, just the minute you were to set off. You have a ferry to take!<\/p>\n

We get agitated and needless to say, we waste our energy. Most importantly, it will be more difficult to be laid-back in situations which are really important and that need our composure. Being relaxed doesn\u2019t work at the push of a button.<\/p>\n

\"Das<\/p>\n

Composure<\/span><\/h4>\n