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by Bettina Bonkas \u2013 Englis<\/strong>h | Coaching | Resilience + Improvisation | Hypnosis<\/strong> You may know the feeling: you\u2019re actually getting enough sleep, you generally eat well and you exercise fairly regularly. Perhaps you even know what\u2019s currently getting to you \u2013 an annoying conflict, a project, a situation that\u2019s on your mind. By the evening, you feel completely drained \u2013 and by evening, I don\u2019t mean just before bedtime, but several hours earlier.<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> You do look after yourself. So what is draining your energy \u2013 and how can you recharge?<\/p>\n A client put it like this during a coaching session:<\/p>\n \u201cBettina, I get enough sleep, I eat well and I exercise regularly. Yes, things haven\u2019t been going well with a colleague for some time, but why am I still constantly exhausted?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy am I constantly exhausted?\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 A question many of us can relate to. In my video, we take a look at where our energy comes from (very simply put), what drains it and where we can get energy from \u2013 with practical tips that you can put into practice straight away.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also worth staying with this blog post. You\u2019ll find interesting explanations to help you understand yourself better, practical tips you can use immediately, and a real-life example from my coaching practice.<\/p>\n Video \u2013 approx. 13 minutes (English):<\/strong><\/p>\n Why Stress Drains Your Energy and How You Can Recharge<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Let\u2019s go back to my coaching client and her question:<\/p>\n \u201c… Yes, things haven\u2019t been going well with a colleague for some time, but why am I still constantly exhausted?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n The answer may have less to do with your discipline than you think \u2013 and more to do with your mitochondria, tiny structures inside your cells that you may never have heard of.<\/p>\n This is what Dr Martin Picard focuses on in his work. He is a stress and ageing researcher at Columbia University and was a guest on The Diary of a CEO<\/em> podcast. He explains where our energy comes from and why sometimes it simply isn\u2019t enough, no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n In this post, I\u2019ll share the most interesting insights from the podcast \u2013 but above all, what you can do yourself to recharge your energy. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n Dr Picard likes to compare it to an electrical circuit: if you put too much voltage through it, resistance increases until the system overheats. The same applies to your energy: putting more in \u2013 for example, through constant self-optimisation \u2013 doesn\u2019t automatically mean better performance.<\/p>\n This principle also applies to what you eat. If you eat a very large amount at once, for example, your body first has to process it. If the system is overloaded, the result is sluggishness rather than strength.<\/p>\n You may know the feeling: too much food, especially heavy food, leaves you tired and sluggish. But too much exercise can also backfire, leaving us feeling more fatigued rather than energized. Stress also puts a lot of pressure on your energy budget \u2013 except that the energy doesn\u2019t go into digestion. It goes into keeping you on alert.<\/p>\n Responsible for this are tiny power stations found in practically every cell of your body: mitochondria<\/strong>. They convert nutrients from our food and oxygen into a form of energy that our cells can use. They supply, for example, our heart, brain and muscle cells with energy.<\/p>\n But mitochondria don\u2019t just produce energy. They also process information about stress and exhaustion \u2013 and even about purpose. <\/strong><\/p>\n Dr Picard\u2019s research shows that people with a strong sense of purpose have more efficient mitochondria.<\/p>\n For the scientist, mitochondria are almost like a small organ of their own within each cell \u2013 one that helps determine how much energy is available to you.<\/p>\n \u21d2 Your body is constantly redistributing energy, because our energy reserves \u2013 a bit like a battery \u2013 are not unlimited. If one area needs more, for example to deal with stress, another gets less.<\/strong><\/p>\n Your mind is tired. Your body actually is too.<\/p>\n \u21d2 Fortunately, there are ways to replenish your energy budget.<\/strong><\/p>\n Source: Bobba-Alves, Juster & Picard (2022), \u201cThe energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load\u201d<\/em>, Psychoneuroendocrinology<\/em><\/p>\n Four different levers affect the same place: your mitochondria \u2013 where energy is produced.<\/p>\n Exercise (1)<\/strong> stimulates the development of new, more efficient mitochondria in the muscles, according to Dr Picard. Nutrition (2)<\/strong> provides the fuel that the mitochondria process. Under stress (3)<\/strong>, according to Dr Picard, a greater proportion of their output goes towards keeping the body on alert, leaving less available for other functions. And meaning (4)<\/strong> is linked in his research to better mitochondrial function.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s take a closer look at the four areas where you can directly influence your energy budget. The good news: none of them requires perfection.<\/p>\n According to Dr Picard, regular exercise can significantly increase the capacity of your muscle mitochondria \u2013 in some cases even doubling it.<\/p>\n The important thing is that this effect doesn\u2019t come from simply getting out of breath. It happens because regular exercise gives your body a signal, over days and weeks, to build more and more efficient power stations.<\/p>\n The result: you have more energy.<\/strong><\/p>\n Source: The Diary of a CEO, Dr Martin Picard in conversation with Steven Bartlett<\/em><\/p>\n \u21d2 The good news is: you don\u2019t have to run a marathon. Regularity matters more than intensity. Every step counts.<\/strong> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n Large amounts of food at once, or highly processed foods, can overload your body\u2019s capacity to process them. That\u2019s why you may feel sluggish afterwards rather than energised.<\/p>\n I notice this with our cat, too: she\u2019s definitely more sluggish after eating a lot. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n What matters isn\u2019t just what you eat, but also when you eat.<\/p>\n Having conscious breaks between meals, rather than constantly snacking, gives your digestive system time to recover.<\/p>\n Intermittent fasting \u2013 for example, eating within a fixed 8- to 10-hour window and then taking a corresponding break \u2013 builds on this principle, but goes considerably further.<\/p>\n Many people who have switched to intermittent fasting find that it works well for them, says Dr Picard. His message, however, isn\u2019t that everyone should fast. It is:<\/p>\n \u21d2 Find out what way of eating works well for your body. What weighs you down, and what nourishes you?<\/strong><\/p>\n Source: Huberman Lab. (15 December 2025). Improve Energy & Longevity by Optimizing Mitochondria | Dr Martin Picard (Episode 259) [Audio podcast]. Apple Podcasts.<\/em><\/p>\n Pure self-discipline probably won\u2019t get everyone very far here.<\/p>\n If it did, most of us would eat a largely healthy diet, because most of us already know what we should be doing. But people are more complicated than that.<\/p>\n If you notice that, despite your best intentions, you keep reaching for food even though you know it drains your energy, there is usually something else behind it.<\/p>\n \u21d2 A good moment to pause and ask yourself: Am I really looking for energy right now \u2013 or am I looking for comfort, distraction or a break?<\/strong><\/p>\n Sometimes asking that question alone is enough to make a difference. Sometimes, though, it helps to get an outside perspective.<\/p>\n One important point: not all stress is a problem.<\/strong><\/p>\n Short-term stress can actually strengthen your system. Dr Picard clearly distinguishes between acute and chronic stress. The problem starts when stress continues for a long time without genuine recovery in between.<\/p>\n Dr Picard and his team found that stress hormones can increase the energy use of our cells by around 60%.<\/strong><\/p>\n An interesting example from Dr Picard\u2019s research shows just how deeply stress can affect us: grey hair<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Individual hairs record what has happened in the body \u2013 rather like tree rings.<\/p>\n In a study from Dr Picard\u2019s lab (Rosenberg et al., 2021), there was a particularly striking case: in one woman, a section of grey hair corresponded with two particularly stressful months: a separation, moving house and looking for a new job.<\/p>\n When her life became calmer again, the colour returned in that section of hair.<\/p>\n (This only works within a particular time window, usually when greying has only just begun, and it also depends on age.)<\/p>\n What applies to hair often applies to concentration, patience and a good mood too: these are often among the first things to be \u201ccut back\u201d when we are under chronic stress. The body focuses on what it considers essential. – Sorry, but apparently a good mood doesn\u2019t make the list. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n Source: The Diary of a CEO, Dr Martin Picard in conversation with Steven Bartlett<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThree minutes of meditation every day is more effective than occasional long meditation sessions. Consistency makes the difference.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n (Jess Henley, psychotherapist with a private clinic, in “Focus and Inner Calm Amid Digital Overload”<\/em><\/span><\/a>)<\/p>\n Take two minutes here and there to pay attention to your breathing and posture. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.<\/p>\n (From “Psychological Immune Systems: Tips for Boosting Resilience”<\/span><\/em><\/a>)<\/p>\n Unobtrusively, without taking any extra time \u2013 in meetings or while working at your computer.<\/p>\n Sit upright, with your shoulders relaxed and slightly back. Open up your chest and keep your arms slightly away from your body, with your palms facing outwards. Breathe into your abdomen.<\/p>\n Then change position: bring your shoulders forwards, slightly close your chest, keep your arms close to your body and turn your palms inwards.<\/p>\n Alternate between the two positions and finish with the relaxed, open position.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re in a meeting, skip the position changes and simply pay attention to your posture: sit with an open chest and relaxed shoulders.<\/p>\n (From “Power Posing \u2013 Mindset & Embodiment”<\/em><\/span><\/a>)<\/p>\n \u201cA smile can positively influence your mood and promote positive feelings.\u201d (From “Lachen macht gesund”<\/em><\/span><\/a>)<\/p>\n Note<\/strong><\/p>\n Too much social media<\/strong> can also leave us feeling like it\u2019s all a bit \u201ctoo much\u201d and contribute to stress. In my video<\/span><\/a> and blog post, \u201cNo Motivation? What Dopamine Has to Do with It\u201d<\/span><\/a>, you\u2019ll find some background information and tips on how to boost your motivation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Picard describes how a strong sense of meaning and purpose may be linked to better energy supply in the body.<\/p>\n People who know their \u201cwhy\u201d seem to use their energy more efficiently than people who feel chronically overwhelmed or like their lives have no meaning.<\/p>\n This doesn\u2019t surprise me.<\/p>\n My father<\/span><\/a> travelled around Germany as an eyewitness to history. At the age of 90, he took the train from Frankfurt to Berlin in the morning and travelled back again in the afternoon. Working with young people in particular gave him a great deal of energy.<\/p>\n One of my clients had a demanding job at a bank and also volunteered at a hospice. She summed up her commitment like this:<\/p>\n \u201cMy work there gives me so much. It keeps me grounded.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u21d2 Meaning isn\u2019t a soft concept. It seems to have a measurable effect on your energy levels.<\/strong><\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t have to come from your job. The things we do alongside our main work can also give us a great deal.<\/p>\n Source:<\/strong> The Diary of a CEO<\/em>, chapters \u201cWhy Meaningful Goals Become Magnets for Your Energy\u201d and \u201cDoes Having a Purpose Improve Mitochondrial Function?\u201d<\/p>\n This post is not a substitute for medical or therapeutic advice. Persistent exhaustion can have many different causes \u2013 sometimes seeking professional support is the right next step.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s go back to the client I mentioned earlier.<\/em><\/p>\n She came to me feeling exhausted \u2013 despite getting enough sleep, eating consciously and exercising regularly.<\/em><\/p>\n Of course, she knew about the conflict with her colleague. It was on her mind regularly.<\/em><\/p>\n What she didn\u2019t realise was just how much energy it was actually draining from her.<\/em><\/p>\n Her nervous system was so often in a state of alert that she had become used to it. Her energy budget was quietly being channelled into dealing with stress.<\/em><\/p>\n (Of course, there were other personal issues involved too \u2013 it\u2019s rarely just one thing. But going into those would take us too far here.)<\/em><\/p>\n Understanding the psychological foundations was very important to her, as was understanding that different personality types have different communication styles and needs.<\/em><\/p>\n She herself was more factual and rational, focused on the task at hand. Her colleague, on the other hand, was more relationship-oriented, but also rather emotional. She, too, of course, brought her own history into the situation.<\/em><\/p>\n However, the most important point for my client was something else: recognising her own value \u2013 including in the way she treated herself.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n That\u2019s what we worked on: taking a clear position, setting boundaries and building in short moments of recovery throughout the day. It was a process.<\/em><\/p>\n At the end, she said to me:<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t changed anything about my diet, and I still exercise, but I\u2019ve learnt a lot. I\u2019m kinder to myself now and take my own needs more seriously. I have more energy again.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Often, the answer to exhaustion isn\u2019t more self-optimisation. It\u2019s how we deal with invisible, ongoing sources of stress.<\/strong><\/p>\n Something else I notice again and again is that a lack of confidence when speaking English freely can also be a source of stress.<\/p>\n Whether consciously or in the background, it can drain a surprising amount of energy \u2013 energy that we then lack elsewhere.<\/p>\n In the following blog posts, you\u2019ll find practical examples and the steps we took:<\/p>\n No Motivation? What Dopamine Has to Do With It<\/span><\/a> If you\u2019re tired even though, on the surface, \u201ceverything is right\u201d, there may be more going on.<\/p>\n Your body may be distributing its energy towards invisible stress that you\u2019ve long since filed away as \u201cnormal\u201d.<\/p>\n First step:<\/strong> Recognise that your exhaustion may be a signal from your body.<\/p>\n Second step:<\/strong> Look at where your energy is actually going \u2013 and where you are already strong in the four areas, and where there may be room for improvement.<\/p>\n Third step:<\/strong> Remind yourself that your system can learn and adapt \u2013 that\u2019s what I mean by resilience \u2013 and put what you\u2019ve learnt into practice. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n The mechanisms described here are complex and are the subject of ongoing research.<\/p>\n I have deliberately simplified them to make them accessible. Dr Picard himself also uses simple images and comparisons in the podcast, presumably to make the subject accessible to a wider audience.<\/p>\n Steven Bartlett\u2019s podcast with Dr Martin Picard:<\/strong> Why am I constantly tired even though I get enough sleep?<\/strong><\/p>\n Exhaustion is often less about the amount of sleep you get and more about invisible, chronic stress, which puts an additional demand on your body\u2019s energy.<\/p>\n Can stress really affect my energy?<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes. In experiments by Dr Picard\u2019s team, stress hormones increased the energy use of human cells by around 60%.<\/p>\n What does meaning have to do with energy?<\/strong><\/p>\n According to Picard\u2019s research, having a clear sense of meaning and purpose is linked to better energy supply in the body.<\/p>\n What can I do about chronic exhaustion when there seems to be no obvious reason?<\/strong><\/p>\n If your sleep, nutrition and exercise are already in place, it may be worth looking at invisible, chronic stress \u2013 for example, unresolved conflicts or ongoing tension. Coaching can help you identify what may actually be behind it.<\/p>\n If you feel that you\u2019re constantly exhausted despite \u201cdoing many things right\u201d, a conversation could be a useful next step.<\/p>\n I\u2019d be happy to support you in finding out where your energy is actually going.<\/p>\n I offer Business & Life Coaching, Resilience Training and English Coaching<\/strong> \u2013 online and in person, for individuals and businesses.<\/p>\n Just get in touch \u2013 I\u2019d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n \u2192 Get in touch:<\/strong> bettina-bonkas.com\/kontakt<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n \u2192 Find out more about coaching:<\/strong> Life & Business Coaching<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
\nReading time: approx. 7 minutes<\/strong><\/p>\nWhat\u2019s going on, what you can do about it & an example from my coaching practice<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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<\/h2>\nYour energy budget: a simple way of looking at it<\/span><\/h2>\n
Mitochondria<\/h4>\n
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Recharging<\/h5>\nFour levers to replenish your energy budget<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n1. Exercise \u2013 how it strengthens your mitochondria and your energy<\/span><\/h4>\n
\n2. Nutrition \u2013 listening to your body instead of constantly refuelling<\/span><\/h4>\n
A note on eating for comfort or distraction<\/h4>\n
\n3. Stress \u2013 the lever with the biggest impact<\/span><\/h4>\n
Grey hair<\/h4>\n
Concentration, Patience and Good Mood<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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<\/p>\n3 exercises for greater calm and inner peace<\/span><\/h4>\n
1. Mini meditations<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n
2. A posture check<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n
3. Don\u2019t forget to laugh <\/span><\/h4>\n
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\n4. Meaning and connection \u2013 the underestimated lever<\/span><\/h4>\n
\nPlease note<\/h4>\n
\nA real-life example: exhausted despite \u201cdoing everything right\u201d<\/span><\/h2>\n
Our approach<\/em><\/h4>\n
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<\/strong><\/p>\nFrom my practice: feeling insecure when speaking English<\/span><\/h2>\n
\nBoosting your Self-Confidence: 5 Strategies for Inner Strength<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
\nMy takeaway for you<\/span><\/h2>\n
\nA note on simplification<\/h4>\n
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\nAnti-Aging Expert: This Reverses Gray Hair & Boosts Your Energy!<\/em><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
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<\/h2>\nFrequently asked questions about energy, stress and recovery<\/span><\/h2>\n
\nWould you like more energy and balance in everyday life?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Contact for businesses<\/a><\/span><\/h4>\n