(Deutsch) Was wäre, wenn dieser Beitrag etwas in Dir in Bewegung setzt?

Journal mit Stift

What if this post sets something in motion within you?

Sometimes it only takes the smallest spark to get things moving – in the way we think, feel, or act. This post invites you to shift your perspective, regain a sense of lightness, and reconnect with your inner strength. Because what if this post really does set something in motion within you?

That, at its heart, is what resilience is about: staying open when life gets challenging – and trusting in your own ability to shape what comes next.

What if this post sets something in motion within you?

Somewhere deep down, I knew I wanted to write again – to share what I’ve learned, to offer a spark of inspiration. And what if, through that, something begins to move within you?

I start typing – on a completely different topic. But the words drag. Slow. Heavy. It’s hard to step away from the desk. Eventually I do: stop. Step outside. Fresh air. Sunshine. Movement. A deep breath. Space to clear my head.

Back home – not at the desk this time, but at the dining table, looking out into the garden. Shoulders back, chest open. As I exhale, I let the air escape with a soft puff.

Then, back at the computer, I delete everything I’ve written – without even reading it again. If it felt heavy while writing, it’s unlikely to feel any lighter when reading.

Later, I come across an article about powerful questions – the kind that can stir something inside us – and about the quiet power of words.

And suddenly, it’s there: inspiration.

Glühbirne

We live in turbulent times

Global changes, personal challenges, constant adaptation – it’s no wonder we often find ourselves merely functioning. Duty over joy. Enduring rather than creating.

And in the process, something gets lost: our lightness, our calm, our trust in our own abilities.

Our minds feel full, there’s little time for reflection, and hardly any energy left to imagine new ways forward.

This is exactly why I want to invite you to:

  • break the cycle of negativity
  • practise openness
  • discover new possibilities
  • tap into your own creative power

Let yourself be inspired

You might be thinking, “That all sounds lovely – but when am I supposed to do it?”

Then take a leaf out of Einstein’s book:

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited.”
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
“Learning is experience. Everything else is just information.”
“Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.”

Source: www.geo.de

Opening up to new perspectives

When we begin to shift our perspective, space opens up for something new – lightness, problem-solving, and creativity.

The prompts that follow come from Jackee Holder, complemented with my own ideas. Jackee is an author, trainer, and coach, and writes a regular column for Psychologies magazine.

Sternschnuppe


The Miracle Question – a powerful shift in perspective

The Miracle Question was developed by therapists Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, the founders of solution-focused brief therapy.

It’s a simple yet highly effective method for breaking free from stuck thinking and strengthening your mental resilience.

Here’s how it works

Write the following as a heading in your journal or notebook:

“Imagine that tonight, you go home, have dinner, relax, and go to bed. While you sleep, a miracle happens: the problem that has been occupying your mind is solved. You don’t know it yet. When you wake up tomorrow morning – what is different?”

Then: write.

Ideally, do this by hand – writing slows down your thinking, structures your thoughts, and calms your system.

***A recent study from Norway shows that handwriting activates the brain more strongly than typing.***

This simple exercise shifts your perspective from problem-focused thinking to solution-oriented thinking.

Some guiding questions to accompany you:

  • How will you know the miracle has happened?
  • What changes do you notice? In your body?
  • How do others respond to you?
  • How do you respond to yourself?
  • What do you do differently?
  • What positive emotions do you feel?
  • Where are you? Who is with you?
  • What can you see, hear, and feel?

Once you’ve explored these questions, use the following to structure and organise your thoughts further:

  • What is already possible now – what do you notice?
  • What small steps could you take today to move closer to this vision?

Why this exercise works

Even if it sounds almost like magic, it’s not about wishing – it’s about expanding your thinking, a true mindset shift. Positive psychology shows that when we imagine a desired future as vividly as possible – and connect it with positive emotions – it can boost motivation, confidence, and problem-solving abilities.

The Miracle Question invites you to step into a future where the problem is already solved.

Palast mit Tueren

“What if …?” questions open the door to possibilities

“What if …” questions are a simple mental exercise that can create new neural pathways – shifting us from rumination to creativity, optimism, and a sense of personal agency.

If you feel trapped in a negative spiral of thoughts, try these perspective shifts:

  • What if I focus on what is already present, rather than what’s missing?
    Shift from scarcity thinking to gratitude and creative engagement.
  • What if I stop waiting for the perfect moment and start now?
    Shift from perfectionism and procrastination to personal agency.
  • What if I compare myself less to others and pay more attention to my own abilities?
    Shift from self-criticism to self-confidence and acceptance.
  • What if I stop feeling responsible for everything?
    Shift towards self-care and setting healthy boundaries.
  • What if things turn out even better than I can imagine?
    Shift from rumination to trust, optimism, and calm.

What research tells us

“What if …” questions open up mental and behavioural possibilities without demanding certainty. Research in cognitive behavioural therapy shows that reframing negative thoughts can reduce stress and strengthen our problem-solving abilities.

When I began writing this post and then got stuck, I asked myself:
What if I stop writing for now – and just step outside?
The result is what you’re reading now.

What if the power is within you?

Please note: exercises like these are no substitute for therapy.

But they can help you activate your inner resources. Because what if the answers you’ve been searching for are already within you?

The Miracle Question and “what if …” exercises train your brain to see possibilities instead of limits.

They remind you that you have the power to shape your life – even in challenging times.

Buntes Bild mit einer Hand, die einen Pinsel hält

Ready to strengthen your resilience?

What if you took the next step today – and trained your mental strength with my resilience workshop next week?

Reclaim your sense of ease

With inner calm, you gain confidence, spot new possibilities – both professionally and personally – and use your capacity to shape your life with greater clarity.

Reserve your spot now: info@bettina-bonkas.com | +49 (0) 6081 926 19 10

Questions?

Feel free to get in touch – I’d love to hear from you.

And who knows? Perhaps this post will truly set something in motion within you – that would make me very happy.:]

(Deutsch) Das Sonnenkind in Dir

Man with two children

The Sun Child Within You

The Sun Child Within You – Rediscovering Self-Love, Lightness and Joy.
This is the subtitle of the book The Sun Child Principle, which I’ll introduce to you in just a moment. Let yourself be inspired to awaken your inner Sun Child and invite more ease and joy into your life.

When Lightness Gets Lost

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often lose our sense of lightness. We take on responsibilities at work, care for family and parents, navigate stress and challenges. Even in our free time, we rush from one commitment to the next or work on self-improvement—whether it’s our body, mindset, or sports techniques. And before we know it, we’re just functioning, stuck in duty mode. Without even noticing, our lightness fades away. And with it, our joy for life.

There are countless books about the wounded inner child, but what about the Sun Child?

The Sun Child Within You

“Beyond all childhood wounds and traumas, there is a part of each of us that is vital, creative, playful, spontaneous, and full of energy—the Sun Child. When we rediscover and nurture this positive part of our ‘inner child,’ we hold the key to healing and happiness. In this state, we exist purely in the present moment, we are at peace with ourselves, and we can truly enjoy life.”

From The Sun Child Principle by psychologist Julia Tomuschat—a  book offering psychological insights and practical tips for activating your Sun Child. (Available only in German, as far as I know.)

What If Our Childhood Wasn’t a Happy One?

Before we dive into some tips on how to reconnect with our Sun Child, there’s an important question:

“What if our childhood wasn’t a happy one?”

Your Sun Child loves connecting with your childhood. But not every childhood is joyful. Here’s a quote from The Sun Child Principle:

“It is never too late for a happy childhood… Even neuroscience supports the idea that change is possible later in life—if we open ourselves to new paths.” (p. 86)

Julia Tomuschat also references neuroscientist Dr. Gerald Hüther:

“Neuroscience shows that at any point in our lives, we have the ability to reshape ourselves by breaking free from old motor, sensory, or emotional patterns—by learning to see, feel, or act differently than we have before.” (Hüther in Storch et al., 206, p. 92)

It’s encouraging to know that change is always possible. Sometimes, we just need the right support—whether through therapy, coaching, or training. You’ll find some options at the end of this blog post.

A Question of Mindset

Our inner attitude—our core mindset—plays a crucial role. We can’t simply summon lightness on command if we take life and ourselves too seriously. But that doesn’t mean living superficially. It’s about putting things into perspective:

  • What truly needs my attention?
  • And where can I let go and ease up a little?

Gehirn - das Sonnenkind in Dir

Our Brain Loves the Absurd

Our brain enjoys thinking in a playful and absurd way—and this applies to learning too. We remember extraordinary things much more easily.

Amid life’s daily struggles, how can we invite lightness into our lives so that our Sun Child feels at home?

Discover the playful side of yourself in all sorts of moments—and most importantly, give your Sun Child space! Don’t take yourself too seriously, and embrace the joy of laughing at yourself. It makes you more likeable and is wonderfully liberating!

I came across a powerful line in Psychologies magazine (January 2025):
“When we are in ‘play’ mode, we are less concerned about making mistakes, and our minds are more open to creative solutions.”

As children, we instinctively knew how to do this. As adults, we have to relearn it. But fortunately, we’ve never completely lost it, as this quote reminds us:

“The heart remains a child.” – Theodor Fontane (writer, journalist & critic)

Das Sonnenkind in Dir

So, let’s get started!

Ideas for awakening your Sun Child:

  • An exercise from my English coaching sessions, which I also use in corporate training: Alternative use of an object. Look around your desk, pick an item, and give it a new purpose. One participant chose a face mask and repurposed it as an eye mask for office naps—or alternatively, as a hammock for her Snoopy. She demonstrated it brilliantly! 🙂

  • A game I love playing in my English & resilience training sessions: Three participants each say a syllable—for example, Ro – Sa – Ly. Another participant acts as an expert and spontaneously explains the meaning of the word. One participant described Rosaly (Ro-Sa-Ly) so convincingly that we were all hanging on her every word.

  • A long-time family tradition on road trips: We create sentences from the number plates of cars in front of us. Example: F-LP – “Feast on lovely plums.”
    Note: You can also play this game on your own.

  • Put on some upbeat music and dance! (Suggestions: “Happy” – Pharrell Williams, “I’m So Excited” – The Weather Girls, “Move in the Right Direction” – Gossip.)

  • Shake it off! I often shake and wiggle away stress, brush it off, and bounce on the spot—it’s incredibly stress-relieving.
    Movement (embodiment) works wonders.

  • Just for fun: A few years ago, we spent an afternoon in an English tearoom drawing. The idea, of course, came from my family—who are all talented artists. I, on the other hand, have exactly zero drawing skills. But we had so much fun! Sometimes, the most freeing thing is doing something with no ambition and no talent at all. 🙂

  • Skipping—remember that? I used to love skipping as a child.

  • Puzzles—there are some beautiful designs out there!

Moving people stehen fuer das Sonnenkind in Dir

Applied Improvisation

Let me start with a quote from the Irish Independent:

  • Improv is almost like yoga for life.
    Feeling as though she had begun ‘sleepwalking through life’, one writer decided to shake things up by signing up for improv classes. Not only did an immersion in the quick-thinking theatre world leave her feeling brave and creative, it also gave her new skills for wider life.

This quote perfectly illustrates how improvisation can not only boost creativity and courage but also help us develop valuable life skills. In my work as a trainer and coach, I use applied improvisation to foster exactly that—helping people communicate more freely, navigate challenges, and create stronger connections in everyday life.

Improvisation gives us the freedom to act spontaneously, trust ourselves and others, and embrace mistakes as part of the learning process. It creates space for new perspectives, creativity, and lightness in life.

Curious?

If this topic resonates with you and you’d like to explore it further:

Would you like to hear more? I’d love to connect!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media. And if you’d like my articles delivered straight to your inbox, you can sign up for my newsletter.

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