The light
Steph was sitting in front of her computer, she was rather stressed. Quickly the last entries before she would rush to get her train. She was really late again but she had to finish typing that last sentence. Perfect! Now, saving her file and then she would jog to the train station. Not exactly what she fancied doing now but what did her best friend Maja kept saying: “You have to do sport, darling!” 10 minutes jogging to the train station was sport, that had to do.
In a hurry, Steph changed into her winter boots before she grabbed her bag and ran to the tube station. The train was already approaching the station when she came to the platform. So, quickly she jumped up the stairs and into the train. She squeezed herself into the tube which was packed with people. It didn’t matter, the main thing was that she had got her train. Otherwise she would have had to wait three quarters of an hour for her connecting train, not really a pleasure in the cold and with the draught on the platform. The train was starting when she remembered with a start that she had planned to see her mum. That meant she should be on a different train. She was always in a hurry and as a consequence things simply slipped her mind with all the stuff she had on her mind. Damn it! Visiting her mum again was more than overdue.
She was a lovely elderly lady of 87 who managed her everyday life in a most admiring way. The “mother-stories” she heard from her friends were completely different: from high expectations to indirect criticism – subliminal remarks, you had to read between the lines and so difficult to deal with, being offended and Lord only knows what else. Terrible! Steph was really glad about her mum. Sure, they had arguments too but Steph loved her mum dearly. Their relationship might have been so strong because her father had left the family long ago.
In the beginning, when Steph was still little, she had seen him regularly and he had spent a lot of time with her until he had started a new family. He then let his daughter from his first marriage disappear more and more out of his life. That hurt, it damn hurt but she had learnt to live with it and now she didn’t miss him anymore. Hey, why did she have those stupid thoughts now? Ah, she remembered, she was on the wrong train. But maybe that wasn’t too bad really as it had started to snow and the trains would grind to a halt, she knew that from experience. She would call her mum later and arrange to meet another day.
Another two stations and then, finally, she could get off and change into her train home. Fortunately that one would be emptier. At the station, together with her fellow passengers, Steph was pushed out of the train and together with her fellow passengers she went down the stairs. She went along the underground crossing and the stairs up to the platform. Her train would come in 15 minutes, enough time for a nice steaming cappuccino. She had her coffee-to-go-cup filled up and went back to the platform. Her train arrived with a seven-minute delay. Grateful for a seat Steph sat down. She was longing to just close her eyes and take a nap but she had to go through some e-mails. She opened her laptop and started reading.
Her thoughts drifted away, she struggled to concentrate. Somehow, gradually really, everything had become more: work, the responsibility of her mum, even though she was really fit for her age, her eyesight and hearing were really poor and she couldn’t read letters on her own, let alone write any. And then, she was of course responsible for Yanik, her son. Even if he was already 17 and would take his A levels next year, he still needed her. He still had no idea what he wanted to do after school. Her mum was relaxed about it but Steph was worried. Good training, ideally with a college degree, was more important than ever. She would remind him to get an appointment at the job agency for counseling ASAP. Steph had been separated from Yanik’s father for a long time, he was still in kindergarten at the time. Ralph and she shared custody for him and it worked pleasantly well in most cases.
When she thought of Ralph, she realized that he seemed a bit pale and lacking concentration recently; she hoped that everything was OK with him. Even though they had been separated for a long time, they had remained friends and she remembered vividly how distressful she had experienced his cancer disease five years ago. If she remembered correctly, he had similar symptoms back then: paleness, tiredness, lack of concentration. She would ask him to go to the doctor’s immediately. There was always something to worry about. Would that never end? On the contrary, it seemed to get worse and she found it increasingly difficult to relax. Steph, noticed that she was becoming really gloomy.
Her eyes started to wander and caught in thoughts she looked into the snowy winter forest. In former times, when she was a child, she really enjoyed going into the forest with her dad. He would tell her stories and for a long time she was convinced that fairies, elves and trolls lived in the forest. As a child she had always imagined that they lived in caves under the earth which they had equipped comfily with fur as cuddling zones, seats and tables made from wood, and with nuts and roots from which they had conjured up beautiful decorations.
“Can you see them, too?”, she heard a voice next to her all of a sudden. In no time Steph was back in the train with her thoughts. She turned to the side and saw a man who was looking at her. He was a man of around forty, he had long blond hair which looked out of the sides of his brown woolen hat, a beard, a mix between a full beard and not a full beard, green eyes, laughter lines and a friendly expression.
“I’ve been watching you for a while.” He spoke with a slight accent which Steph couldn’t place. “You look worried but when you look into the forest, your face is relaxed. On Island we grow up with elves and trolls. No idea if they exist really but they give me a good feeling. Nature is very important for us islanders. She is magic and powerful. We humans can’t explain everything. But that isn’t important. There’s magic in beauty and magic makes our life richer and lighter. Take your time to let beauty into your life again and have faith”, he added. The man looked at her directly. “Look after yourself. So, I have to get off now.” And with these words Steph’s seatmate disappeared in the direction of the exit. At the door he turned around to her and smiled at her before he finally disappeared out into the snow.
In a few minutes only, this stranger had succeeded by his sheer presence and with his words that Steph had a feeling of peace of mind and a feeling of security. She decided spontaneously to get off one station earlier and to walk home through the forest. She had bought LED-candles for her mum, for her new Advent wreath after her mum had set fire to her old one last year. Another thing to worry about. But now Steph would light one of her mum’s candles and would go home through the snowy winter wonderland with a shining light on.
In this spirit I wish you a most wonderful Christmas time, time to discover the very own magic and beauty of this time, a light which gives you faith and people around you who do you good.