(Deutsch) Fokus und innere Ruhe im digitalen Dauerrauschen
Focus and Inner Calm Amid Digital Overload
Focus and inner calm amid digital overload– isn’t that a constant challenge? Maybe this sounds familiar: you’re watching a film but still find yourself reaching for your phone. Or you’re hopping from one browser tab to the next, from one task to another – without ever really feeling fully present. Then you’re in good company. In a world that constantly competes for our attention, this is a widespread phenomenon.
Focus and inner calm amid digital overload– that’s exactly what this article is about. You’ll discover what’s behind our inner restlessness, and you’ll get 10 practical ideas for everyday life.
Already living – or still scrolling?
Living in the here and now, to me, means: feeling alive. Being truly present. And yes, the phone can be part of that – but in moderation. Otherwise, overload is just around the corner. Our brains switch into low-energy mode.
We regularly charge our phones – but do we do the same for our minds?
(More on that below.)
For our children. Cats. And dogs.
If we don’t take care of ourselves, then at least let’s do it for our children: We are their role models. Their childhood and teenage years won’t come again. Play, movement, and connection are essential – that’s what they’ll remember. That’s what will stay with them throughout lives.
For our cats – in our own best interest. Thinking of our former tomcat: if I had stroked him without paying attention to his body language, I would’ve ended up with a scratch or two. Ouch.
For our dogs – a client once told me about her daily walks with her dog. She keeps seeing a man who’s always glued to his phone – ignoring his dog. One day she spotted a completely moldy piece of bread on the field. She managed to pick up part of it. Later she saw that same dog eating it – while his owner was staring at the screen. She was unfortunately too far away to warn him.
A wake-up call for what we can miss in the constant digital overload.
So ‘Already living‘ seems like the better choice?
Then keep reading. It’s worth it. 😊
What this article covers:
- What do experts say about concentration today?
- How does sensory overload affect us?
- Emotional overwhelm – and what helps
- 10 everyday tips for more calm and clarity
The May edition of the British magazine Psychologies was a major inspiration for this article, by the way.
What do the experts say about concentration today?
According to a 2022 study by King’s College London, nearly half of those surveyed feel their ability to concentrate has worsened. But neurologist and author Dr Faye Begeti sees it differently – and offers an interesting shift in perspective:
“It’s not so much that we’re less able to concentrate – in fact, we score higher in cognitive and IQ tests. The catch? We’re focusing our attention more and more on the wrong things.”
Clinical psychologist and author Dr Kirren Schnack also finds in her work with patients that they switch tasks more quickly and spend less time focusing on a single activity:
“Rapid Attention Switching” – constantly jumping from one thing to the next – drains our mental energy over time.
So while we’ve become better at switching between tasks, our endurance to stick with one task has weakened – especially when there’s no instant reward involved.
That’s part of the problem: we live in a society where instant gratification has become the norm. And that encourages distraction – especially when the reward comes, as it so often does, from our phone.
“It’s perfectly normal to focus on things that bring us joy or promise a quick reward – and that’s why picking up the phone is so tempting.” – Dr Schnack
But this has consequences: it becomes increasingly difficult to stay focused on things that feel, by comparison, a bit dull.
Sensory Overload – What Does It Do to Us?
Constant sensory input puts stress on the brain – it switches to “survival mode”. This can show up as:
- inner restlessness
- a vague feeling of exhaustion
- difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
- the sense of constantly “chasing” something
Dr Begeti puts it like this:
“Our brain gets tired and goes into low battery mode. Our attention span drops, we feel drained – and often more irritable too.”
In this state, we’re particularly vulnerable to distraction – and that can turn into a vicious cycle. We feel endlessly busy but don’t really make progress. Frustration, stress, and in the worst case, burnout, can follow.
Less digital overload
A commonly underestimated point: Emotional Overload
Emotional regulation is a key factor for attention – something Dr Begeti repeatedly observes in her clinical work. It tends to become unstable particularly when we’re stressed – or when we’re exposed to too many emotions from external sources.
One contributing factor: our sources of information. Social media platforms are designed to keep us engaged for as long as possible. We scroll through endless content, absorbing opinions, images, and emotions. “Emotions sell” – and flood us with impressions.
Clinical psychologist and author Dr Emma Hepburn points to studies showing that people who get their information from traditional media find it less emotionally overwhelming than content from social media.
That makes sense: a newspaper or news broadcast has a clear end; each story is time-limited. Also, our brain isn’t bombarded with as many images. Of course, traditional media aren’t entirely neutral either, but they generally aim to report based on facts – with less emotional charge (even though there are exceptions).
What Helps? Sources with Less Emotional Weight
- traditional newspapers and magazines
- news formats with a clear structure
- credible social media accounts
Tip: Set a short timer beforehand. Then try this: 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – stop.
→ Less emotional punch. Fewer visuals. A natural time limit.
10 Practical Tips for More Focus and Calm Amid Digital Overload
We can’t change every trigger – but we can learn to handle our attention more consciously. Here are 10 practical ideas to help you strengthen your focus and stay more grounded in everyday life.
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1. Turn off notifications – and check your phone only when you decide to. The best way to reply to your messages is to answer them all at once.
You’re allowed to take breaks. Good friends get that – and they’ll still be there for you.
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2. Put your phone away – ideally out of reach. Try doing nothing for a bit. Let your mind wander.
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3. Mindfulness over multitasking – your energy returns when you focus on just one thing.
“Handling several tasks at once overwhelms the human brain. Those who try to do it anyway become inefficient and prone to errors – and might even get sick.” (Occupational psychologist Nicole Kopp, Neue Zürcher Zeitung)
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4. Create a focus zone – “Our brains link places with actions (association). For example, use your desk only for focused work. It helps strengthen your concentration.” (Dr Begeti)
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5. The 5-minute rule – “A thought pops up? Wait 5 minutes.” (Dr Begeti) This helps your brain learn: not every impulse needs immediate action. Afterwards, you can respond consciously.
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6. Set boundaries – notice your stress patterns. Protect your energy – for example, by avoiding screen time in the evening.
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7. Self-care – balanced nutrition, movement, and enough sleep all support cognitive function. Experts recommend: no screen use 2 hours before bedtime.
In my blog post “How to Strengthen Your Psychological Immune System”, you’ll find more tips for mental and physical wellbeing.
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8. Train your attention – “Just like physical fitness, our attention can be trained. Focus on one task intentionally and gradually increase the duration,” advises Dr Schnack.
And of course: Meditation – the practical kind.
Psychotherapist Jess Henley, who runs a private clinic, recommends: “3 minutes a day does more than the occasional long session. It’s consistency that counts.”
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Enjoy the feeling! – I often remind myself how good it feels to be truly focused – and compare that to the overwhelm I feel when my attention is scattered. That’s a powerful inner compass.
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Get outside – this one’s important to me. Use all your senses: listen to birdsong, feel the wind, take in the green. It’s soothing for the eyes and the mind.
“Looking at greenery reduces stress hormones, soothes anxiety, and relaxes blood vessels.” (alverde magazine 6-25 – I highly recommend)
Focus and Inner Calm Amid Digital Overload
I hope this article has provided you with some helpful ideas and insights.
If you feel like you could do with more support, feel free to get in touch. I’d be happy to assist you with coaching.
→ Book a free introductory call – I look forward to meeting you.
Did you enjoy this article? Then feel free to share it – or subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful tips. 😊
(Deutsch) Zeit der Erneuerung und Hoffnung
A Time for Renewal and Hope
How can I stay centred – or find my way back?
We are living in unsettled times. Economic uncertainty, ongoing wars, and global developments leave us feeling anything but secure. It’s no wonder a mix of emotions accompanies us, affecting each of us individually – and society as a whole. Added to this are the everyday pressures and extraordinary challenges we all face.
It’s precisely because of this that our longing for renewal and hope grows – and for the inner strength that can carry us through. How can we stay centred, or find our way back to that sense of balance, despite everything going on around us?
Of course, our challenges may seem small compared to what people in war zones are facing. And yet – neglecting ourselves doesn’t help anyone. Quite the opposite: when we’re centred, we can give more to others.
So how can I stay in my centre or return to it? – These 7 tips can help you get there:
1) Listen to your inner voice
Is the news too much for you? Find the balance that works for you. We don’t want to become numb, but we also don’t want to feel overwhelmed.
Reading instead of watching or listening might help. It allows you to set the pace – and that can be a relief.
Less is often more.
→ What works best for you?
2) Plan your pauses
Your nervous system needs rest. Without it, you’ll feel overstimulated and tense. This isn’t just hearsay:
Research from Stanford and independent studies by the HeartMath Institute show that even brief pauses, a few deep breaths, a moment between tasks , can lower stress hormones, improve heart rate variability, and sharpen focus. (Psychologies, September 2025)
Treat yourself to regular micro-breaks:
- Simple breathing: Inhale through your nose, pause briefly, then exhale through your mouth. Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale – that helps calm the system.
- Time in nature: Just 5–10 minutes can make a difference. Nature has a soothing effect on the nervous system.
- Move: Movement gets body and thoughts flowing. I keep it simple – even a walk to the recycling bin does the trick.
→ How could you build in short pauses during your day?
3) Your personal Yin and Yang
“Yin and yang stand for harmony. Two opposing forces attract and are inseparable. Neither is superior to the other.” (Focus.de)
For me, that means staying aware of my balance:
Too much sitting? → Move.
Too much overthinking? → Take action. What’s one small way I could help?
Too much mental effort? → Invite lightness. Do something playful.
→ What do you need right now for your balance?
4) Shift your perspective
Almost anything can be viewed differently. Sure, I had hoped for sunnier Easter weather – and at the same time, the rain is vital for nature.
When I go hiking in the Taunus and see the effects of climate change, I’m grateful for every drop.
→ What could you look at from a different angle today?
5) Your life is now
So many of our thoughts are in the past or future. But life is happening now. Keep bringing yourself back to the present – for instance, with a
Mini meditation:
Sit upright, feet flat on the ground. Inhale – belly expands.
Exhale – belly contracts.
Let your shoulders drop. Relax your jaw and your face.
Let go. With every breath, feel yourself becoming more grounded.
Drop an anchor and ground yourself in the here and now.
→ How did that feel? Take a moment to notice.
6) Practice makes a difference
Inner matters need space, too.
The more regularly we practise, the easier it gets to return to our centre in stressful moments – just like with sports, music, or learning a language.
And still: tough days are part of life. Let them come – and trust that they’ll pass.
→ When could you allow yourself 1–2 minutes a day to practise?
7) Stay with yourself – for your own sake and for others
Make space for yourself regularly so you don’t lose your centre. You can’t always control external circumstances – but you can influence how you respond to them.
From your centre, you act with more clarity and intention.
A time for renewal and hope
Yes, even in these challenging times. That’s exactly why it’s so important to take care of ourselves – and to contribute from a place of inner balance.
I hope these thoughts support you in staying centred – or finding your way back.
If you’d like to strengthen your resilience with guidance, I’d be happy to support you through coaching.
→ Feel free to book a free discovery call – I’d love to meet you.
If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it or sign up for my newsletter for more inspiration.
(Deutsch) Lust auf Theater? Mit den UsiEnglishActors
Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
Bubblegum and Diamonds
Die UsiEnglishActors sind zurück! Die sympathische Theatergruppe aus Usingen, die ihre Stücke mit viel Leidenschaft – und ausschließlich auf Englisch – auf die Bühne bringt.
Viele Jahre haben wir sie begleitet – doch manchmal zwingt uns das Leben in die Knie. Umso schöner, dass sie jetzt wieder da waren, mit einem neuen Stück:
Bubblegum and Diamonds
Natürlich haben wir an unserer lieb gewonnenen Tradition festgehalten und die Aufführung gemeinsam besucht.
Vorher haben wir es uns bei gutem Essen und tollen Gesprächen gutgehen lassen – auf Englisch, versteht sich. 😉
Schade, dass es schon wieder vorbei ist
Aber nächstes Jahr sind wir garantiert wieder dabei. Vielleicht geht’s vorher noch ins FEST (Frankfurt English Speaking Theatre) – einer der Akteure der UsiEnglishActors tritt dort immer wieder auf.
Hier ein paar Rückmeldungen zu Bubblegum and Diamonds:
It was a funny theatre play with many sparkling diamonds and enthusiastic actors and spectators. I had a lot of fun! (Anja, Bad Homburg)
It was really funny. Thank you! (Yvonne, Bad Homburg)
Mir hat es sehr gut gefallen . Es war ein sehr unterhaltsamer und lustiger Abend. Die Akteure haben prima und mit viel Begeisterung für ihre Rolle gespielt. Vielen Dank! (Regina, Bad Homburg)
Die Aufführung war äußerst unterhaltsam. Auch ohne jedes einzelne Wort zu verstehen, konnte ich mühelos folgen. Ich habe mich über die lustige Umsetzung des eigentlich etwas makaberen Themas amüsiert! – Danke für die Organisation und die Gelegenheit mit bekannten und neuen Leuten Essen zu gehen. (Viola, Usingen)
And lots of thumbs up and hearts and smileys and many more emojis 🙂 🙂 🙂
(Deutsch) So stärkst Du Dein psychologisches Immunsystem Tipps zur Resilienzsteigerung
Psychological Immune System: Tips for Boosting Resilience
I’m writing this article in winter – the season of colds, flu, and other illnesses. On a physical level, we prepare for this with vitamins, warm clothing, and hot drinks. We do quite a lot for our physical well-being. But what about our psychological immune system? Doesn’t that need strengthening too? Especially in the darker months?
Strengthening the Psychological Immune System – All Year Round
Is it really only during the darker months? When I look at global events, and also the mood here in Germany, I’d say it’s more of a constant need. And that’s before even considering the challenges, setbacks, and disappointments we face in our personal lives. Often, we feel drained, powerless, and exhausted.
Mental resilience is a key to better coping with crises. Your psychological immune system protects you from the effects of constant stress.
Before we continue, here’s an excerpt from my post on YouTube. (in German)
How the Psychological Immune System Boosts Our Mental Resilience
How do we get out of a slump? Thanks to our psychological immune system (PIS). The term was coined by Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, describing the ability to develop psychological antibodies that help us build resilience.
These psychological antibodies train our brain, rewire it, and help us learn from adversity. They protect us from the emotional strain that can arise from failure, trauma, and stress. (Psychologies, November 2024)
Before we dive into practical tips, let’s take a quick look at the scientific foundations. Understanding how our psychological immune system works is the first step in strengthening it.
No time? – Scroll down for: 8 Ways to Strengthen Your Psychological Immune System
Healing & Resilience: How the Psychological Immune System Helps
Ian Stockbridge, founder and therapist at Hope Therapy & Counselling Services, describes it this way: “The psychological immune system protects and maintains mental well-being in the face of emotional and psychological challenges, just as the physical immune system defends the body against illness.”
He further explains that our psychological immune system helps us, “…adapt to negative events by triggering a variety of psychological reactions. These reactions help us reinterpret our situation or give it meaning, making change and ultimately healing possible.” (Psychologies, November 2024)
On the other hand, a weak psychological immune system can lead to feeling overly stressed or being plagued by constant fears – potentially leading to depression. On a physical level, we might develop misguided coping mechanisms: eating disorders, alcohol or drug abuse, uncontrolled outbursts of anger.
There is no life without challenges – just as there is no perpetual nice weather. We have no control over either. What we can influence, however, is how we deal with it. Your psychological immune system – in other words, your mental resilience – protects you from stress in daily life and during times of crisis.
Of course, there will continue to be ups and downs. But we can learn not to fall so deeply and to bounce back more quickly from the lows.
Here are my tips for you, on both a psychological and physical level. Because it’s not mind or body, but rather our physical health is closely tied to our emotional and mental state.
8 Ways to Strengthen Your Psychological Immune System
1) I create the world as I see fit
How do you see the world? Do you have a positive worldview, or do you primarily perceive threats? And how do you see yourself?
Tip: Practice gratitude for what you have and what you can do. Acknowledge the beautiful things in your life and in yourself – for example, with a reflection journal: “I like about myself …”
Note: In an ideal world, our brains would only store the good and block out the bad. In reality, it’s the other way around – for a good reason: the famous saber-toothed tiger. Negative experiences tend to stick longer. That’s why we need to help ourselves, as described above.
2) Accept what is – and take action where you can
There’s a lot that’s beyond our control. But there are also things where we can actively make a difference.
Tip: Think about what matters to you. What contribution can you make? Every contribution counts! I talk about this in my short story Paths Full of Light & People Who Walk with Us.
3) Move from problem-thinking to solution-focused thinking
Switch from passive mode to action mode. When overwhelmed with emotion, bring in rationality. Think outside the box – nothing is too crazy!
Tip: What problem can you start with? Get started! Find a role model or a cheerleader – whatever works best for you.
4) Because you are worth it
Your health is non-negotiable. Take care of your well-being. Ground yourself in the here and now.
Tip: Below you’ll find practical tips to strengthen your physical immune system.
5) Yes, I can! – How to develop your inner strength
There’s nothing stronger than taking control of your own life. And success experiences are key! Set small, achievable goals.
Tip: I talk about this in my post Step by Step to Your Goal.
6) For a strong sense of togetherness
Sometimes we need a cheerleader to lift us up. Other times, we can be that cheerleader for others. We can also learn from role models – real or imaginary.
Tip: More on this in my short story Paths Full of Light & People Who Walk with Us.
7) That’s your life! Shape it – Find meaning and design your life
What is the meaning of life? When we find meaning, we can see challenges as opportunities.
Tip: What drives you? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Dare to dream and discover your possibilities.
Now, a bit longer, but this part is especially close to my heart:
8) Let’s improvise! Say yes to mistakes – and use them for yourself!
Improvisation is part of life – it keeps us flexible, lively, and gives us plenty of laughs. Most importantly, it makes us human. But trying to control everything and rushing through life in task-completion mode is not only exhausting, it’s simply impossible. – It’s as easy as that.
On top of that: We lose our ease in the process. Always remember: Nobody is perfect – and that’s what makes us relatable and authentic! 🙂
Tip: Mistakes are important! They help us grow and show that we dare to take risks. More of that! And anyone who can laugh at themselves is doing something good for their health. 🙂
-> “Laughter is good for you“ – want to boost your mood at the press of a button? Find out more in my blog post.
And remember, with all these tips: Practice makes perfect. This way, I can respond to challenges more quickly and effectively because I’ve already created the necessary connections in my brain.
Now that you have some ideas for strengthening your mental resilience and psychological immune system, I’d like to give you some practical tips that will not only boost your physical immune system but also increase your overall joy of life:
7 Practical Tips for Strengthening Your Physical Immune System
1) Deep Belly Breathing: Breathe in slowly through your nose, breathe out through your mouth.
2) Stretch: Stretch your chest and shoulders. Here’s a guide .
Expanding physically and mentally: This is the focus of my post Power Posing.
3) Ice, Ice Baby: A cold shower or splash your face with cold water. Bonus: a brushing massage – my go-to mood booster in the morning.
4) Meditation: Take 2 minutes during the day to focus on your breathing and posture (expand the chest), letting your thoughts drift away.
5) Shake It Off: Put on some music and go for it! Video with inspiration from a gymnastics teacher.
6) Singing & Gargling: Positive stimulation through vibration. Depending on the sounds, you’ll also get a laugh on top of that. 🙂 – Find more feel-good tips in my post: Discover the Sunshine Child Within You.
7) Spend Time Outdoors: “Colours are the smiles of nature.” – James Henry Leigh Hunt, English critic, essayist and poet
And here is a feast for the eyes: Moments of Kalmfulness
I hope these tips help you activate your inner strength in challenging times. If you need support to further strengthen your resilience, I’d be happy to assist you with coaching.
Would you like to develop your mental resilience further?
Book a free introductory session – I look forward to meeting you.
Did you enjoy this post? I’d love for you to share it with others or subscribe to my newsletter for more inspiration.
(Deutsch) Kundenstimmen Sprachreisen
Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
Kundenstimmen Sprachreisen
Sprachreise nach England – Kundenstimmen
Wunderbare Erfahrungen, die mir immer in Erinnerung bleiben werden
Meine Sprachreise nach England: “Dieses Jahr habe ich mir einen lang gehegten Wunsch erfüllt: Eine Sprachreise nach England. Aber eine besondere Sprachreise. Da ich mein Englisch nicht für den Beruf benötige, wollte ich eine Reise machen, bei der ich am Vormittag Englisch lerne und am Nachmittag Ausflüge in die Umgebung mache, um Land und Leute kennenzulernen, aber vor allem schöne Gärten besichtigen kann. Und genau solch eine Reise hat Bettina angeboten und für mich gebucht.
Am Freitag, 10. Mai bin ich nach England geflogen. Ziel war eine Stadt mitten in England, am Rande der Cotswolds. Als Zielflughafen habe ich Birmingham gewählt, da ich vor einigen Jahren dort war und ich die Stadt schön fand. Mit dem Zug fuhr ich vom Flughafen zum „Hauptbahnhof“ und hatte dort 3 Stunden Zeit, durch die Stadt zu schlendern und in Erinnerungen zu schwelgen. Anschließend bin ich mit dem Zug weitergefahren, abgeholt wurde ich von meiner Gastgeberin am Bahnhof.
Meine Gastgeberin
Sie hat mich ein wenig herumgefahren, um mir einen Eindruck des Städtchens zu verschaffen und danach sind wir zu ihr nach Hause gefahren. Sie hat eine Wohnung in einer sehr schönen Wohngegend mit großen alten Bäumen und herrlich viel „Grün“ drumherum. In ihrer sehr schönen Wohnung hatte ich ein gemütliches Zimmer und ein eigenes kleines Bad. Ich habe mich gleich sehr, sehr wohl gefühlt und mich supergut mit ihr verstanden. Mitbewohner war auch Missy, ihre 15 Jahre alte Katze. (Anm.: Meine Kundin wollte ein Excecutive Stay, also mit eigenem Bad.)
Am Samstag nach meiner Ankunft habe ich mir die Stadt angeschaut und mich mit dem Weg zur Schule vertraut gemacht. Am Sonntag haben wir dann gemeinsam einen Ausflug in das schöne Städtchen “Bourton on the water” gemacht und zum Schloss Sudeley. Wir hatten herrlichstes Sommerwetter und haben den Ausflug genossen.
Los geht’s mit dem Training
Am Montag ging die Schule los. Den Einschulungstest hatte ich bereits zu Hause erledigt. Wir waren 5 Schülerinnen. 3 Schülerinnen aus Deutschland, eine aus Spanien und eine Mitschülerin aus Japan.
Wir waren eine nette kleine Frauengruppe und haben uns gleich gut verstanden.
Von Lisa, unserer Lehrerin, haben wir zu Beginn einen Plan bekommen für die zwei Wochen unseres Aufenthaltes. Dem konnten wir entnehmen, dass wir von 9:00 bis 12:15 Uhr Unterricht haben, wie viel Zeit uns für die Mittagspause bleibt und wohin wir anschließend unseren Ausflug machen.
Die Schule liegt mitten in der Stadt. Die Fußgängerzone ist 2 Minuten entfernt. Daher war es kein Problem sich was zum Essen zu besorgen oder einen Kaffee zu trinken.
Lisa hat sich viel Mühe gegeben, das Training so zu gestalten, dass die unterschiedlichen Levels berücksichtigt wurden. Manchmal war es sehr einfach, manchmal hat mir aber auch ganz schön der Kopf geraucht. Wir hatten jedoch vor allem sehr viel Spaß und die Trainingssstunden vergingen im Flug. Es war eine sehr angenehme und lockere Atmosphäre. Genauso, wie ich es mir gewünscht habe!
Wunderbare Herrenhäuser, Gärten & Ortschaften
Die Ausflüge, die wir an den Nachmittagen unternommen haben, waren genau nach meinem Geschmack. Wir haben wunderbare Herrenhäuser, Schlösser und Ortschaften gesehen, aber vor allem herrliche Gärten! Über 700 Bilder, die ich fotografiert habe, sprechen für sich. Die Ausflüge waren optimal organisiert und oftmals hatten wir noch Zeit anschließend den Tag in einem Pub zu beschließen.
Was natürlich sehr zu dem wunderbaren Urlaub beigetragen hat, war, dass wir herrlichstes Wetter hatten. Wir konnten oftmals unser Glück kaum fassen. Die erste Woche war vorhergesagt mit viel Regen und nichts davon hat sich bewahrheitet. Ganz im Gegenteil! Erst Mitte der zweiten Woche hatten wir einen Regentag und es wurde kühler. Die Schule hat dann kurzfristig umdisponiert und wir haben uns statt eines Gartens ein sehr interessantes Haus angeschaut. Den Garten, der dazugehörte, haben wir uns dann halt mit Regenschirm angeschaut. Unserer guten Laune hat das keinen Abbruch getan.
Ich war begeistert, dass es fast in jedem Raum eines Herrenhauses oder Schlosses jemanden gab, der uns Informationen gab oder dem wir Fragen stellen konnten.
Einfach genial! Man konnte sehen, dass es den ehrenamtlichen Damen und Herren richtig Spaß machte, den Besucherinnen und Besuchern Geschichten zu erzählen und Fragen zu beantworten.
Ich bin sehr froh
Mit meiner Unterkunft bei meiner Gastgeberin war ich ausgesprochen glücklich. Wir haben uns prima verstanden und sind zum Beispiel zusammen in ein Konzert gegangen und in ein sehr schickes Restaurant zum Afternoon Tea. Wie gut, dass Bettina mich dazu ermutigt hat, die Zeit in einer Gastfamilie zu verbringen.
Ich bin sehr froh und dankbar für diese Reise und kann sie guten Gewissens weiterempfehlen. Die wunderbaren Erfahrungen, die ich gemacht habe und wunderschönen Dinge, die ich gesehen habe und die liebenswerten Menschen, die ich kennengelernt habe, werden mir immer in Erinnerung bleiben.“
Theresia, Rosbach
Und hier das Angebot: Sprachreisen
Die Bilder der Kundin sprechen für sich 🙂
(Deutsch) Wohnung in Wehrheim zu vermieten
(Deutsch) Zuversicht Wege voller Licht und Menschen, die uns begleiten
Confidence – Paths Full of Light and People Who Accompany Us
Confidence – Paths full of light and people who accompany us: Confidence gives us strength – especially in times that challenge us. In my story, it’s about exactly this power: how it drives us to take new paths and how it emerges from a strong sense of togetherness. Resilience – the ability to emerge stronger from challenges – is not only based on ourselves. Often, it’s relationships that help our inner strength grow. Don’t we all need people who listen to us? People with whom we can let go and simply be ourselves?
My story inspires finding confidence and believing that together, we can achieve so much more. I’m firmly convinced of this. Are you too? A story that’s relevant no matter the season.
Look forward to the next part of my “Martha & Alva” series, which shows that together, we can achieve more than we sometimes think.
And now, here’s something special: Together with my friend Amelia from England, we’ve recorded the story on YouTube in both German & English for you. – No time? No problem! Feel free to just listen. Happy reading or listening! 🙂
Confidence – Paths Full of Light and People Who Accompany Us by Bettina Bonkas
Had another year really passed? It was hard to believe how quickly time had flown. Just recently, she had celebrated Christmas with Alva and the others. And now, she was back here—in Bad Homburg. With her.
Martha shook herself, almost automatically. Shake it off! That was her strategy for shaking off stuck thoughts. But today, it just wasn’t working. The sky was gray, and so was her mood.
Alva’s small B&B welcomed her like a safe harbor. Cozy as always, but something was missing—Alva. Her friend was in Scotland with Daniel, and Martha had to get by alone for a few days.
Martha remembered very well when she first came here. Back then, she had just separated from Björn. It had hurt so much. How comforting were the talks with Alva. She had learned so much from this woman. (Glühwein tastes good in Scotland too)
One visit hadn’t been enough. Alva had become an important friend. Once, she had even spent Christmas with her and her partner Daniel on a Scottish island—that had been absolutely magical!
Currently, Alva was in Scotland with Daniel; the two were in a long-distance relationship and saw each other whenever they could. Luckily, they would be back here in a few days. Martha would manage to pass the time until then.
Cats always help (dogs too! 😉 )
At least: Antonia, the cat, was there, purring and rubbing against her legs. “You know what, Antonia? Shopping for gifts can wait. First, let’s make ourselves comfortable.” She had learned that from Alva: Tea first. The rest can wait.
Less than 15 minutes later, Martha was sitting in the armchair by the fireplace. Her legs were on a footstool, a blanket kept her warm, and Antonia was purring on her lap. Steam rose from her cup of tea. Oh, if only life could always be so simple.
But then, it would probably be boring. Challenges were part of it. As she reflected on the last few years, she even felt a little proud: what she had learned and accomplished! But one thing was certain—without Alva’s support, she wouldn’t have made it. She had also learned that from her: relationships are what carry us. (Resilience)
This year, however, had been tough. Corona still lingered in Martha’s bones. Then there was the war in Ukraine, and now even the conflict in the Middle East. Trump in 2025, political instability in Germany, a struggling economy—and on top of it all, the looming threat of the climate crisis. To top it off, she was worried about her job. Would there be layoffs?
Another spiral of thoughts. Her confidence was dwindling.
Encounters That Enrich Our Lives
But before she got lost in it, she remembered Alva’s advice: movement helps—especially in nature. (Embodiment)
It was chilly, but the park was as beautiful as ever. The little bridge, the old trees, the calm pond. At least that remained unchanged. At the end of the park, she saw a pavilion with candles burning. Or were they LED candles?
As she got closer, she recognized a woman. She had a cup in her hand and was gently moving to the music. Catalina.
Catalina radiated joy of life—despite the dreary November weather. Her energy was contagious. She noticed Martha and waved her over.
“Would you like to join me?” she asked with a warm smile.
Martha hesitated for a moment, then followed the invitation.
“Hi, I’m Catalina. Would you like a hot chocolate? I always make a little extra in case someone joins me.”
Soon, the two were deep in conversation.
Encounters that enrich our lives
“Where do you get all your energy from? Especially in this weather? I’m so grateful you’re pulling me out of my November blues.”
Catalina laughed. “What’s the alternative? Gray thoughts for gray weather?” Her earrings swayed as she shook her head. “I’d rather go for confidence. I’ve learned that from my nan. She likes to quote Anaïs Nin:
‘We do not see the world as it is, but as we are.’
Martha let the words sink in.
“Your grandmother seems impressive.”
“She is. Full of joy and wisdom. She also says, ‘Create the world as you see fit. And don’t forget to take others with you.'”
“Are there no moments when you’re sad, Catalina?” (Mindset)
“Of course. We’re human, after all. But I draw strength from the relationships I have—family, friends. And moments like this one. That gives me as much as it gives you.”
Martha smiled. “So, you have your people, the ones you recharge with?”
“Exactly. Don’t we all need that?”
“Absolutely.” Martha fell silent, lost in thought.
Catalina wasn’t just inspiring—she was also a photographer and coach. “I love seeing people behind the facade. Sometimes, when I’m coaching, I take photos—before and after. Faces change when we relax. It’s beautiful to see. Especially leaders are often amazed at how different they appear.”
Catalina offered to take a few photos of Martha. When Martha saw the pictures, she was deeply impressed.
“Wow! No one has ever seen me like this. The photos are really strong—thank you so much!”
Catalina smiled. “You know, Martha, I firmly believe that each of us can contribute to a better togetherness. It doesn’t have to be something big. Every contribution counts. As long as it comes from the heart.”
“That wasn’t exactly small what you did for me, Catalina. You took time for me and shared your expertise with me. That means a lot to me.”
The New Year Can Come
The reunion with Alva and Daniel was warm. They had much to talk about, and Antonia enjoyed the extra cuddles by the fireplace. This time, they celebrated Christmas together with two of Daniel’s friends from Scotland. And as it goes with Scots—it was full of laughter, dancing, and of course, drinking.
Before Martha left, she met Catalina one last time. Anaïs Nin’s words still echoed in her mind: “We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.”
Strengthened by the encounter with Catalina, the warmth of Alva and Daniel, and all the inspiring moments, Martha felt ready. The new year could come.
“Let’s roll up our sleeves and see what we can achieve together,” she thought. On paths full of light—and with people who carry us.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year filled with inspiring encounters – Happy Holidays!
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Are you interested in personal development,
- but feel a bit overwhelmed and wish for additional or deeper support?
- or realize that you’re stuck and not making progress on your own?
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Making your goals reality – every step counts
Every step counts
Step by Step Towards Your Goal
Step by step – turn your goals into reality. Change doesn’t need the perfect moment – it needs a first step. And then another. What matters is taking small, manageable steps on the way to your goal, and filling them with positive experiences. That’s what keeps us going. Step by step towards your goal – every single step counts.
What to Expect in This Post
What does a car accident have to do with goals? And why do researchers say that we often stand in our own way – even when the will is there? In this post, you’ll find out what’s behind it all. You’ll get insights from research, a personal story – and practical tips to help you find your own way forward. Step by step.
Set the bar really low
According to behavioural scientist BJ Fogg it is crucial to set the bar really low if you want to be successful when developing new habits. “If you set the bar too high, you set yourself up to fail,” says Fogg. I read first about him in the Magazine Psychologies (issue February 2020). BJ Fogg is the director of the Stanford Behavior Design Lag, Mike Krieger, the co-founder of Instagram attended his boot camp of the same name. And he also points out that consistency matters as well as the emotion behind the habit. We’re more likely to develop new habits when we have positive associations with them, right?
♦ Consistency is key – sticking with something is essential if we want to reach our goals. And we’re far more likely to keep going if the experience is linked to something positive. I learned that first-hand a few years ago. – More on that below: how I overcame my fear after a car accident. ♦
When Goals Overlook the Unpredictable
Neuroscientist, entrepreneur and author Anne-Laure Le Cunff (Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World) has explored the topic of goal-setting in depth. Traditional goal systems often assume that life is predictable. But it isn’t. That’s why we so often set goals that are too rigid or too ambitious – and it comes at a cost: instead of feeling motivated, we end up under pressure, overwhelmed, and even burnt out. What we need are more flexible and creative approaches that allow for both personal and professional growth – with space for curiosity and change.
Curiosity, Openness & Consistency: The Path to Success
Anne-Laure Le Cunff suggests turning goals into experiments. Start small, stay curious, and be willing to change direction. Success comes from doing and learning, from trying things out and sticking with them – not from rigidly reaching a predefined goal. This approach takes the pressure off and helps us keep going, even when the path ahead isn’t entirely clear. That’s how consistency develops – and from consistency, new habits emerge.
From my own experience: when we don’t cling rigidly to a goal, we stay alert and in flow. Our senses become more attuned, we respond more openly to whatever comes our way, and we’re able to take advantage of opportunities that appear along the journey. Success comes from doing – not from holding on to fixed plans.
For Le Cunff, motivation isn’t the key driver. What matters far more is having a system that still works when motivation is low. Routines help – like doing a bit of yoga in the morning, even on days when it feels like you’ve got nothing to give. The main thing is to keep going. That’s how solid habits form.
The Generation Effect
During her neuroscience training, Anne-Laure Le Cunff came across the so-called Generation Effect – a psychological phenomenon that shows we remember information better when we actively work it out for ourselves, rather than simply consuming it passively.
What I’d Like to Add from My Own Practice
From my work with clients, there are two things I’ve found especially important for pursuing goals in a sustainable way:
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We’re allowed to make mistakes – even to fail – and learn from it. The alternative? Doing nothing. And that means staying stuck.
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Let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s treat ourselves with the same compassion and encouragement we would offer others. That’s a powerful force for keeping going.
This second point is especially close to my heart – because I often see people giving up, not because they can’t do it, but because they’re their own harshest critic.
And now, a personal story:
Driving to England – How I Overcame My Fear After a Car Accident
A couple of years ago I got a grant from the EU for a training course in England. I’d been to England many times before but never had I driven myself. The course would be in August, so I started practising in April. Some years before I had had a car accident. I was badly concussed with a broken nose and a painful whiplash injury. I only remember that I made the police look for my then 5-year-old son who I thought was with me which he wasn’t, he was at a friend’s birthday party.
I woke up again in the ambulance and wanted to get out, I had to pick up my son, so I thought, and then woke up again in hospital because the treatment of my nose was rather painful. I had to stay in hospital for a couple of days. I’ve passed the scene of the accident many times, still no memories but for a long time an unpleasant feeling of anxiety stayed with me while driving.
Well, as mentioned above I had the chance to drive to England. My first trip in April was to take my family to our friends in Switzerland. I had never driven for such a long time before, I was completely exhausted when I arrived there after a 4 ½-hour drive. Our friends had prepared a wonderful barbecue for us. No food for me, I just went to bed, I felt slightly sick as I had been so tense.
About two months later I went to nearby Andernach with my family, only a 1 ½-hours drive from us, no big deal really. But for whatever reason I felt extremely anxious. Driving on the left lane, overtaking other cars, everything seemed so fast and the lanes so narrow. What if I caused an accident with my family in the car? I didn’t exactly panic but I was probably close.
The Moment Something Clicked in My Brain
My last chance to practise a longer distance drive would be in July, on our way back from the Black Forest. Again I was driving with my family. And again I was driving on the left lane when, all of a sudden, I thought: Why driving on the left lane, why putting yourself under pressure when you can drive on the right lane? Sure it’ll take longer to come home but so what?
♦ That was what I did and it took all the pressure from me. It felt like something had shifted in my mind. I was relaxed when I drove us home. I am a very performance-oriented person. Taking away the pressure off me did the trick, but it took some time to get there. ♦
Our big day had finally arrived. I would drive to England with my son, knowing that he would be an excellent navigator. I felt well prepared. We had planned a lot of extra time, so that we would arrive in Calais in good time for the ferry to Dover. That would give me the chance to have a break every 90 minutes. We enjoyed a relaxed drive through the Netherlands and Belgium, but as soon as we reached France, everything shifted abruptly.
Didn’t see the unexpected coming
All traffic was redirected by the police; we all had to leave the motorway, pass heavily armed soldiers, go around a roundabout, and then rejoin the motorway. There had been the most terrible terrorist attacks in France before, so the French didn’t take any risks. A huge traffic jam made any breaks impossible, coming closer to the port, all service stations were closed, so no break and no more buffer.
Still, I stayed calm and had faith that everything would go well. Once in Calais, we could get on a later ferry, and everything went well. We arrived at Twickenham, London in good time, stayed with friends there before we spent the day in London the following day – I drove into London by car! – and later a 2-hour journey to Cheltenham after an exhausting (but also interesting) car spotting tour with my son through London😊.
Had I known beforehand that the French border control would take so long and no chance to have a break, I would have been completely overwhelmed. But taking things as they came, I arrived in England tired but otherwise fine. After a 13 1/2-hour drive I deserved to be tired.
Apart from now driving mostly comfortably and yes, I’ve been to England again, in fact, I quite enjoy driving in England, I took away very valuable lessons, lessons for life.
What helped me:
- Take small, manageable steps
In my coaching training we called them baby steps. Most of our projects fail because we expect too much from ourselves. Driving to England mightn’t sound like a big deal for other people but it was for me, a very big one. Once I took the pressure away from me, I succeeded.
- My Own Cheerleader
Believing in myself – even when the inner voice sounded a bit weak. And being kind to myself, regardless of the outcome.
- Practice Makes Perfect
We need moments of success to keep going – and those come with practice.
- A question of perspective
Most of the time it is not the plan itself that causes stress but our accompanying thoughts. When I take a different, more detached perspective, I am aware that planning in extra time for breaks and driving slowly on the right lane keep my worries at bay. And, getting on a later ferry normally isn’t a problem.
⇒ Changing your perspective is something you have to practise, a bit like meditating, so that you manage to detach yourself from the actual situation that bothers you.
⇒ It’s our beliefs that shape how we label a situation. If we’re honest with ourselves, it doesn’t really matter whether we’re in the right lane on the motorway or speaking “perfect” English.
A quick journey into learning English
I often see that my language students put themselves under pressure by expecting too much from themselves. Especially my students who are, how I call them, my „gut feeling“ students. They have a feeling for the language but, like everybody else, they have bad days when they feel detached from their feeling for the language.
Tips for When You’re Having a Bad English Day
⇒ I then recommend to speak simple English, German, or whatever. Short sentences, direct speech opposed to indirect speech. When you then speak in a nice flow, nobody notices that you’re having a „bad language“ day. Remember, it’s your accompanying, judgemental thoughts which put unnecessary strain on the situation. Because, who really cares if you have a „bad language“ day or drive slowly on the right (respectively left) lane as long as you don’t block anybody?
⇒ It’s your personality which counts, that’s something I learned in a beautiful way in the UK. Mistakes don’t matter, but my personality, being friendly, does. Don’t make the mistakes some natives speakers of English I’ve met in Germany do by being super perfect and thus losing your beautiful British lightness and humour for which we love you😊.
And don’t put on shoes which don’t fit you, it’s not one size fits all. Put on the shoes in your size and then start walking. Step by step at your pace.
Summary
Performance orientation isn’t inherently a bad thing; it can actually be a great driving force. But when it becomes overly rigid or stubborn, that’s when problems arise.
Let’s give ourselves positive encouragement by allowing manageable steps, keeping the joy of learning and our curiosity alive, staying consistent with practice, and regularly shifting our perspective. And very importantly: let’s treat ourselves with kindness and support. Be your own biggest cheerleader.
By doing this, we give ourselves the chance to reach our goals more relaxed — and perhaps even more successfully.
Step by step towards your goal.
Are you interested in this topic,
-
but feeling a bit overwhelmed and wishing for additional or deeper support?
-
noticing that you can’t make progress on your own?
→ Then my coaching might be just what you need. Some issues are more complex and require a closer, more intensive look. Feel free to book a free introductory session.
Interested? I’d love to hear from you.
By the way, if you click on English in the menu above, you can read this post in English.
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(Deutsch) Lachen macht gesund
Laughter Makes You Happy & Healthy
Laughter is good for your health, or as an old proverb goes: “Laughter is the best medicine.” That sounds all well and good, but let’s face it: there are times when we really don’t feel like laughing. After all, I can’t just flip a switch and feel happy. Or can I?
We can positively (and, of course, negatively) influence our wellbeing through our bodies. Let’s take a look at what research and the legendary management trainer and author Vera Birkenbihl has to say about this.
The interesting question is: What can laughter do for us in terms of making us happy and healthy? Join me and find out.
Gelotology – The Study of Laughter
In my blog post “Power Posing – Mindset & Embodiment,” I wrote about the effects of power posing—striking “power poses.” I prefer to call it “showing posture.” My posture, both physical and mental, has an impact on my wellbeing.
This also includes my inner attitude toward life: Do I take life seriously or with humour? It’s scientifically confirmed that laughter is healthy. When we laugh, serotonin is released in greater quantities—also known as the happiness hormone. The study of laughter and its effects on physical and mental health is called gelotology.
Vera Birkenbihl – Joy Hormones Devour Fight Hormones
Vera Birkenbihl’s lectures are legendary, and so is her saying: “Joy hormones devour fight hormones.”
If you want to harness the healing power of laughter, you need to consciously trigger stimuli that encourage laughter. In her November Happening at the Technical University of Munich, Vera Birkenbihl gave a very entertaining guide to boosting your mood.
Smile for 60 Seconds – Just Like That. Yes, it works; most of the time at least. And it can even take on an absurd quality, especially when you’re not in the mood for laughter.
Let’s say you’re really not in the mood to laugh. You’d rather nurture your bad mood and irritate everyone else with it. Or perhaps you go to the loo to laugh. While you’re sitting there, try a big grin. It’s so absurd that you might start laughing. That could happen to me for sure. 🙂
No Change of Place Possible? Try tying your shoes while pulling the corners of your mouth up to your ears at the same time. It’s also a wonderful stretching exercise for your back and legs—killing two birds with one stone. Trust me, your smile will go unnoticed. Most people won’t bend down to see what you’re doing down there.
Vera Birkenbihl presented this in such a funny and impressive way. Sadly, she passed away in 2011. But her performances remain and continue to inspire.
Sometimes, though, it’s also okay to embrace your bad mood. A few years ago, my son and I missed the ferry in Dover because things were moving much slower at our check-in than at the others. The cars waiting at the other counters got all on the earlier ferry. But not us.
The consequence: an hour-and-a-half wait. We had been travelling for about 11 hours in total, so you can imagine how much we were looking forward to getting home sooner.
So, we had some extra time to kill at the port. No, I wasn’t in the mood to put on a smile and, instead, I nurtured my bad mood. It felt good, and when we finally got home, I was in high spirits again. 🙂
Does a Fake Smile Make Us Happy? Here’s What the Research Says:
A study led by Dr. Nicholas Coles from Stanford University looked into this question.
The researchers involved in the study included supporters, skeptics, and fence-sitters—in other words, undecided participants.
They divided the participants into three groups: One group was asked to imitate the photo of a smiling actor. Another group was instructed to pull the corners of their mouth upwards. The third group was asked to bite a pen without touching it with their lips.
In each of the three groups, half of the participants were shown funny pictures during the experiment, while the other half stared at a blank screen.
Additionally, there were other tasks, such as solving math problems, to obscure the main purpose of the study.
After each task, the participants were asked to rate how happy they felt at that moment.
Results of the Study
After analysing the data, the researchers found the following: There was a clear increase in happiness when participants mimicked the smiling actor’s photo or pulled the corners of their mouth towards their ears.
The pen-biting method did not produce the same results.
Dr. Coles commented on the findings: “Smiling can help people feel happy, while frowning can make them feel angry. Therefore, the conscious experience of emotions must, at least in part, be based on physical sensations.”
However, he pointed out that the effect is not strong enough to overcome depression. In such cases, deeper support is required.
In summary, we can conclude
A smile can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy. This triggers the release of happiness hormones and boosts your mood.
Short & sweet: Laughter makes you happy and is the best medicine. It makes us feel wonderfully alive.
Children always show us this so beautifully. 🙂
Are you interested in personal development,
- but feeling a bit overwhelmed and looking for additional or deeper support?
- noticing that you’re not making progress on your own?
-> If so, my coaching might be just what you need. Some topics are more complex and require a more in-depth approach. Feel free to book a free introductory call.
Interested? I look forward to hearing from you.
Did you enjoy my post? If so, I’d be grateful if you could share it, especially if you’re on social media. If you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll receive my posts automatically.